another thing I hate that other people do

So I found a comfortable seat in the very large and sparsely-attended theatre at the Dendy Brighton to see Funny People today.

The shorts showed, the lights dimmed, the curtains drew back, and the feature began.

5 minutes later, a teenage couple rocked in. In the whole, large, cinema, maybe 5% occupied, they sat directly behind me, and to the right.

She was one of those people who found even the credits so funny that she had to (literally) scream with laughter. Apparently, she came expecting a comedy, and didn't stop screaming with mirth until the first leukemia scene.

He liked to put his knee into the back of the seats and shake them every few minutes. After about 30 minutes, I started to detect an unpleasant odour in the air, and realised that his stinking sneakers were planted firmly atop the seat next to mine, at nose level.

Naturally, they hadn't bothered to switch off their mobiles, which rang 3 times during the film, prompting more hilarity from them.

I know; I should have just gotten up and moved away, but it was dark by then, and would have been hard to find a new seat, especially without getting in other people's way.

I just can't believe how often these morons choose seats so close to me - it's like I become a dickhead magnet at the movies! From now on, I'm sticking to arthouse only!