hyper tense, future more imperfect

I never go to the doctor when I should; only when I absolutely have to. One reason for that is that I don't want to find out if there's anything wrong with me. As far as I'm concerned, if I'm getting along ok, I'd prefer to be ignorant of anything that I don't actually notice. Clever; I know :-)

When I went along to the GP last week for a checkup because of my chest infection, he also did a check of my blood pressure. Blood pressure (bp) is one of those things I never worry about, 'cause, you know, "it'll never happen to me". Well, this time it did... high blood pressure reading, not for the first time in the past 18 months... and now I'm officially one of the hypertense, in need of tablets to keep the bp under control so I don't wind up having a heart attack or a stroke in the future, and trying to keep myself calm and serene in case I aggravate the problem. Future imperfect.

hello, Dali!

The NGV has been so quiet about the subject of its Winter Masterpieces exhibition this year, that I had started to think that there wasn't going to be one. But the trip to work yesterday confirmed the recent rumours!

I strolled past the Gallery in the pre-dawn chill, as work was being completed on the new signage... Dali is coming! I can't believe what an 'art geek' I've become... I can't wait for this!

crime is doomed

This week's release of Batman and Robin #1, by the All-Star Superman creative team of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely, was superb comics reading.

Morrison is a true comic-book genius, and has long been one of my favourite writers. His latest twist of the Batman mythos (putting Dick Grayson into the bat-cowl and making Damien Al Ghul his new 'Robin-with-attitude') has breathed new life into the concept, and renewed my enthusiasm for the series.

Quitely's art is sensational... not photo-realistic; not cartoony, but a cartoonishly realistic in-between look, that makes Batman and Robin appear larger-than-life, without being outlandish. His style is beautifully-suited to Morrison's writing. Great new concepts include a new group of villains (with a typically Morrison cool name: 'The Circus of Strange'), and the amazing flying Batmobile! The 'year ahead' teaser page at the end made me even more eager to read the next, and subsequent, issues.

more things I hate that other people do

Just 'cause I'm in the mood for it:

• People who smoke anywhere in public! I don't care that it's not yet illegal to smoke outdoors; I hate walking down the street and copping a face full of some stinking pig smoker's putrid exhaust, carelessly exhaled in my path. It's disgusting. If I chose to sneeze or cough on them, I wouldn't complain about their filthy habit, but I have the manners to make sure that I don't spontaneously offend strangers in the street with optional personal excretions, and they should learn to do the same!
  
  
• Closely related: ignorant arsehole smokers who light up at outdoor cafes while normal people are trying to eat/drink/talk/avoid lung cancer/enjoy life/enjoy the 'fresh' air! Would they mind if I pissed into their dinner plates in return? The effect is similar! I almost never get to sit at an outdoor cafe in nice weather, or even in bad weather, 'cause I can't stomach the stench from the ignorant smoking class who invariably show up like an unwanted blowie as soon as you put a cup or fork to your lips!

whew... that felt good!

the 7 wonders of Melbourne

If Melbourne city had 7 Wonders, I'd vote for the Regent Theatre to be near the top of the list.

Having risen from the ashes (literally) twice since its opening in 1929, the Regent's latest restoration, completed in 1996, has bequeathed the city with a wonderful live theatre venue... my favourite in the city... and a beautifully-preserved feature on the Collins St streetscape. Attending a show there is a treat in itself, and offers an opportunity to admire the fantastic interior of the building before and after the performance. If only they'd let me take photos inside!

I wish I could have seen it as a movie theatre, especially in its 1930's and 40's heyday, though I doubt it could have been any more impressive than it is now.

yeah, I'm a bit wicked myself!

Day 2 after my traumatic test for 'the big S', and no word back from the medical authorities. I was still unwell with a cough and a fever, but after a day of 'just-in-case' quarantine at home, now I was bored as well.

I've never been a good patient. I've been so ill that I couldn't get out of bed, but anything less than that, and I get antsy and need to do something with my time.

So when I hadn't heard from the doctor by the middle of the day, I decided that, as a 99% unlikely case, it would be safe enough to take myself on a tram ride to the city and have lunch with a friend.

On the tram trip into the city, my mind wandered to my desire to find time to see Wicked! before the season closed. And then it came to me! The tram would get me to Collins St at around 12:30... half an hour before the matinee... I only need one ticket... surely they'd have a few single seats still available? It was worth a try!

I made a quick call, hastily transferred 'lunch' to 'coffee after work', and hurried up the steps of the Regent Theatre to the ticket office. "Do you have a single ticket available in the 'B' reserve for this arvo's performance?" I wasn't confident. The ticket guy checked his computer, paused for dramatic effect, and said "Yes"! I could hardly believe it! I was on my way to see the Wizard at last!

But the best news was yet to come. My 'B' reserve seat was in row 'W', near the back of the theatre. When I got inside, the usher told me that for today's show, row 'W' would be seated in row 'L'!!! Far from sold out, this session was only half full, so management kindly placed we few 'B' reserve paupies as far forward as the back of the last paid 'A' reserve seats... fully halfway closer to the stage, and much better than either of the seats that I'd had to see Priscilla!

And the show itself? A fantastic spectacle... terrific staging, wonderful music and singing performances, a witty and entertaining story (although I had trouble understanding some of the lyrics at times); everything I hoped for. I'd love to see it again.

Ok, so I was a bit wicked to go out when there was, like, a 1% chance that I had an infectious disease, but I had almost a whole row to myself, so I'm 99.9% certain that I didn't pass whatever is making me ill onto anyone else.

things you put off 'til it's almost too late

When Wicked! premiered at the wonderful Regent Theatre last June, I knew I wanted to go. I'd seen Priscilla, Queen of the Desert there twice in the previous 8 months, and loved every minute of both performances, so I was keen to see its successor.

But there was always something! No time, no money, other things to do, shows sold out months in advance... but after all, it will be on for ages yet. Anyway, I can never bring myself to book anything months in advance. How can I book a ticket in November to see a show in March, when I have no idea what I'll be doing by March? I might pay for the ticket in November, and then find that I'm unable to go for any number of reasons, four months later! So I put it off. Again. And again. And again.

Then last month, they announced that Wicked! has to end in early August, to make way for a new production. I made a mental note to plan something before it finished, and promptly put it back on the mental back burner.

Last weekend, while checking my diary, I realised that I'd have almost no chance to go and see it during July... meaning I virtually had only this month to get there... but how, when all the ads suggest that it's sold out for months at a time, would I get to go on such short notice?

I was focussed on the problem at last... but still no closer to an answer! Maybe I'd left it too late, and I'd just have to miss it, after all.

brain swab!

As anyone who knows me will confirm, I'm the world's biggest coward when it comes to medical interventions. I dread injections of any sort. The thought of a blood test will have me break into a cold sweat, and I invariably need to sit or lie down when it's over, so I don't pass out. So when I noted that the test for swine flu involved a swab, I was immensely relieved.

I arrived at the Avenue hospital and handed over the order from the GP. A pleasant nurse ushered me straight into a room, and closed the door behind me. Another very abrupt one followed quickly behind, thrust a mask at me, and told me that I shouldn't be walking around without one.

As she shut the door behind her, I put the mask on. And promptly started to 'drown'!

I already had nose and throat congestion. Without instruction, I unwittingly applied the mask too tightly, and could then not get enough oxygen in my mouth and nose. I tore the mask from my face, and gasped for air.

After a couple of minutes, I tried the mask on again, this time keeping it loose enough so that sufficient air could flow in and out. It was bearable, but certainly not comfortable.

The pleasant nurse came back to do the test. I sat back in the chair as she faced away from me, writing some notes at a desk on the other side of the room, and she began to explain to me how the swab would work.

There was a short, sort of... Twilight Zone-ish delay, as my brain started to absorb the meaning of her words and mesh that with the image beaming in through my eyes. The swab was to be done by inserting a needle-like instrument the length of a short spear, in through my... nose! to... the back of my throat??? And was she really taking a run-up towards me with that thing, like a javelin-thrower?? No... that part was just my imagination at work!

Ok, so I suppose it wasn't really painful, but it was damned uncomfortable, and it sure brought a tear or two to the eye! That thing was so long and mean-looking, it could have done a frickin' brain swab for all I knew!

Luckily, it was over fast... so fast that I didn't even have enough time to make myself feel sick about the shock intrusion of my body space.

I was quickly hustled out - with the mask on! - back to my car, to head home and keep myself quarantined until the test results come back.

I felt like a total geek walking back to my car with a mask, but it was almost worth it to see a woman cross the road to avoid walking past me when she saw my mask! Nothing to fear? Some people apparently don't think so.

99% unlikely

The GP had had a very busy day... as they all seem to always have, these days.

When I told him why I was there to see him, he launched into a lecture about how many people he had seen already that day for the same reason, how I was 99% unlikely to have swine flu and likely to have a common cold, and how employers were starting to panic about the flu. Then he even described many of the symptoms that I had.

None of this was news to me... I never thought I had the flu. But I was starting to think that I had contracted some other virus that needed attention.

I was beginning to feel really stupid for coming along and wasting his time. Then he asked me how long I had had the symptoms. When I told him a week, he checked my throat, and my temperature, and immediately decided to refer me for a swine flu test... just in case! :-P

stalked by the pig...

Ok; I confess. The Monday before last, I came down with chest congestion and a fever. I don't know anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone else who is even suspected of having swine flu, and I haven't travelled anywhere lately where I might have been likely to pick it up, so I assumed it would be just a 24-hour bug, and let it go.

As the week wore on, I wore down... the fever bubbled away, the chest congestion was complemented by a slight cough and a sore throat, I had mild aches and pains, and I got tired. Still nothing to worry about.

On the weekend, as I settled back to watch a movie, I felt a strong pain across my chest. This was a worry. It felt like the last time I had a chest infection. I couldn't get to a doctor on the weekend, but over the next 24 hours, the chest pain faded. The other symptoms stuck around tho.

On Monday morning at the office, the HR Manager, who'd been enquiring after my health the whole previous week, alerted me (personally!) that plans were about to be implemented to send home any staff suspected of being infectious... in case they had the dreaded swine flu!

I was sure I didn't have 'the big S', but I took the hint, and booked an appointment at the GP for that evening.